Guess What?

Dear Certain Able-Bodied Bloggers Who Are Trying Soooo Hard to Stop Fucking Up,

I and other people with disabilities are not your Very Special Learning experience, no matter how much you may want to put us in that box.

As one of the original PWD blogger participants in the chat, furthermore, I'd really like it if the person who apparently believes that we are her Very Special Learning Experiences would a.) Apologize to Amandaw for breaking out the tone argument during the course of the chat (full transcript is here), and b.) attribute sources properly for the suggestions at the end of said Very Special Learning post. Part of the post makes it sound like the Feministing editors came up with the suggestions for improvement. Observe:

"The full summary of the suggestions from the group we engaged with appear after the jump. You can also see the transcript of our chat here.

And here's a quick recap of our substantive suggestions:

* A concrete statement of the site's commitment to intersectionality issues, to address what seems to be a popular feeling among commenters that the site is "Feministing, not SocialJusticeing." Whether a joint post for site authors or another mechanism turns out to be the best way to make this statement was undecided during the chat.

* Guest posts from people with disabilities focusing on a wide range of disability issues. Talks with Patty Berne had begun before these issues were raised and she may do more guest posts or potentially contribute to the site. We clarified our desire to see a wider range of issues addressed than have been in the past 2 years or so, when the only explicit focus on people with disabilities has been about performance art groups. Other potential areas to cover include political issues, health issues, employment issues, etc.

* Increased accessibility of the site itself. Miriam mentioned a current site redesign is in process, so it would be an excellent time to incorporate some increased accessibility. We suggested using this site to identify accessibility barriers and suggestions for fixes: http://wave.webaim.org/

* A clear and reliable mechanism for user flagging abusive comments and getting a response - currently it's unclear where those go, what criteria is used to determine whether it stays or not, with no feedback on criteria. We have noticed that the "report abuse" button now seems to direct emails to the author of the original post, rather than a general email. Miriam also mentioned plans to focus more on comment moderation, including creating a community editor/moderator position and incorporating community members in comment moderation.

* Current and updated contact information for all authors."

You call these YOUR substantive suggestions? These were OUR suggestions, and were not properly attributed to an email sent to the group by abbyjean, who was the organizer/official organizational muscle on our side of the chat.

The mis-attribution could have been a (big) typo, but on the other hand, given what went down in the chat, I am strongly adverse to giving certain folks the benefit of the doubt for any longer.

Oh, one more thing, Certain Able-Bodied Bloggers: IT'S. NOT. ALL. ABOUT. YOU.

Take from this statement what you will.

[I am speaking for myself here, and not as a representative of FWD//Feminists With Disabilities.]

ETA: The irony is killing me. The mere fact that a certain someone can break out the "tone" argument and then, in all seriousness, post something like the above--emotions for me, but not for thee--is truly stunning.

IIB v 1.0

Note: This is a revised version of a bingo card that I made some time ago. I will be moderating the crap out of this thread, meaning that I will expect comments to follow the comments policy to the letter.

While I don't feel like I should be required to justify the lowermost right square, there was some confusion and pretty ooky pushback when I posted version 1 on my own blog. I'll explain that square anyway, for CMA purposes: I am aware that pot works for many people with chronic pain, and personally have no issue if people other than myself use it. I'm an advocate of finding what works for you; whether it's a pill, plant, pilates-esque routine, or something else, your course of pain management should be your choice.

What I am referring to with this bingo card -- as a whole -- is the commonplace, rather irritating tendency of some able-bodied people to suggest -- without knowing about the medical history of (or, indeed, much about) the person they are "trying to help" -- remedies or treatments that may be totally inappropriate for that person, due to various (personal) reasons. In short, what works for you may not work for me, and vice versa; how I wish I could have articulated this to the folks who have "helpfully suggested" that I smoke pot or obtain other illegal "meds" to help with my pain!

Okay, explanatory note/rant over. Onto the bingo card! I hope you all have your chips ready.

Also, special thanks to Ouyang for suggesting the "Diet and Exercise!!1" free space.



annaham-iibv1

Text translation: card has white text on a black background. Title (in white) reads, “annaham presents: Invisible Illness Bingo 1.0,” followed by “Now With Straighter Lines” in red:

First Row, Square #1: All that’s keeping you from being healthy is a positive attitude!

First Row, Square #2: My ex/friend/co-worker had that, but he/she was just a hypochondriac.

First Row, Square #3: Maybe if you lost weight/found a man/read The Secret, your problems would be solved.

First Row, Square #4: Why can’t you just suck it up, get out of bed, and find a job like the rest of us?

Second Row, Square #1: Lucky! You get to stay in bed all day.

Second Row, Square #2 (middle square): Free Space/DIET AND EXERCISE!!!11

Second Row, Square #3: You don’t look sick/you’re just complaining too much

Third Row, Square #1: Obviously, you get something out of being sick. Otherwise, you’d get better!

Third Row, Square #2: If I haven’t heard of it, then it doesn’t exist.

Third Row, Square #3: But I went through hard times too, and I got through it. Let’s talk about what a great person I am.

Third Row, Square #4: You have it so much better than some people! Think of the starving children in Africa…

Fourth Row, Square #1: Let go and let God/Power of prayer/God is punishing you

Fourth Row, Square #2: You just want an excuse to be lazy and have people pity you.

Fourth Row, Square #3: Why haven’t you tried crystals/vitamins/other dubious “cure”? IT REALLY WORKS!!!

Fourth Row, Square #4: Smoke pot/take illegal drugs. It will totally take care of your pain, man!

Song of the Moment, or a Follow-Up of Sorts

Diamanda Galas always has an appropriate song for every occasion, especially the ones that involve lots of RAGE. To wit:



And with that, currently able-bodied white privileged feminists, I would like you to know that we will NOT be silent, nor silenced.

Background: here, here, here, here, here, here, and right here.

Confessions of a Reluctant Young White Feminist

Dear Feministing.com,

Once upon a time, I posted this on my Livejournal: "One day, I will write about my numerous issues with Feministing.com."

Guess what? Today is that day! Lucky you.

Let me introduce myself: I am a feminist, an occasional blogger, a person with disabilities (fibromyalgia, cerebral palsy), and am currently getting my Master's Degree in Women & Gender Studies. I am also white, heterosexual, cisgendered, have a college degree, and am relatively economically privileged. I, at first glance, seem to embody many (stereo)typical qualities of a young, white feminist: from the type of music I enjoy, to how I dress, to the fact that I sometimes wear makeup, and, on occasion, read BUST magazine when I need a break from "serious" literature. Because I am white, I have the choice to ignore issues surrounding race, and those surrounding white privilege. Because I am heterosexual and cisgendered, I can brush off queer and trans issues if I so choose. Because I am white, economically privileged and have a college degree, I can probably rest assured that I will have a job in the future, even with my rather esoteric choice of college major and advanced degree.

One could argue that your site is pretty much made for people like me: the "fun" feminists who can wear makeup and heels [I can't wear heels, but that's for another post], go out and party like it's 1999 [I don't, but that, too, is for another post], and still fight for [their own] rights the next morning. One could argue that your contributors do, in fact, speak for folks like me, and that since they are the face of the fourth wave, I should just be thankful that feminist issues are getting any airtime or page space in the mainstream media at all, and/or that people who look like me are getting book deals.

But here's where our feminisms differ, Feministing.com: I am saddened by your numerous issues when it comes to representing people who are not like you. You all don't have the greatest track record when it comes to race and white privilege, trans issues, disability issues, economic privilege, and a ton of other things that I am probably accidentally leaving out. If someone new to feminism were to look at your website--which, not incidentally, is one of the "top" feminist websites, at least in the U.S.--they might conclude that feminism is a movement that is exclusively for young, white, heterosexual, able-bodied, sexually active, upper-middle-class women. If you know about the history of feminism in the U.S., and I assume that you do, you will see why this is so troubling.

There is more to the feminist movement than fighting for the rights of white women. Feminism is more than allowing your or your commenters' racial, economic, heterosexual, and able-bodied privilege to go totally unchecked. If you are so committed to "intersectionality," as you have claimed several times, where is it? True efforts toward inclusivity and intersectionality constitute more than simply talking about those things, or throwing around whatever blogular buzzword is currently hot, or thinking that droppin' those terms like they are on fire will suffice. There is an enormous chasm of difference between talking about doing something and actually doing it.

There is no gentle way to say this, Feministing.com: You do not speak for me, and I'm not sure that you ever will. I want to give you a chance, but until you actually start to make changes instead of alternately talking about making them and ignoring those of us who have asked you to, it is going to be difficult for me to hold out any hope.

You've already made it clear that I am not like you; apparently, neither are the people who have asked you, time and time again, to take what they have to say seriously, and to make changes accordingly.

You have also made it clear that there is no room for people like me in your version of "fun" feminism. There is no room in your world for my brothers and sisters: feminists and womanists of color, feminists with disabilities, working class feminists, fat feminists, queer and LGBTI feminists, asexual feminists, older feminists, or trans folk.

I understand. Boy, do I understand.

I will end with the following quote from the great Barbara Smith:

"Feminism is the political theory and practice that struggles to free all women: women of color, working-class women, poor women, disabled women, Jewish women, lesbians, old women--as well as white, economically privileged heterosexual women. Anything less than this vision of total freedom is not feminism, but merely female self-aggrandizement." [From "Racism and Women's Studies," 1979]

Sincerely,
Annaham

ETA, 7:27 PM PST: There's been an important update from meloukhia on this whole situation; Anna also has a lovely link roundup.

ETA II: I will be modding the shit out of both this and related posts; leaving trollish or inflammatory comments might spell D-E-L-E-T-I-O-N for you. Don't like it? Don't comment.

OFFS, Feministing.com

I don't know if I'll ever truly expect that Feministing will get it when it comes to disability and ableism issues, but some of the language in this post is simply appalling:

If having my car door opened makes me feel like lover man thinks I'm an invalid, not so feminist.

Yeah.

Therefore, I enthusiastically endorse and co-sign meloukhia's Open Letter to Feministing, because the Feministing bloggers' and commenters' fashionable ableism, along with the seemingly tacit refusal to cover disability issues (except for when, as Amandaw points out, a disability issue is connected with reproductive rights in some way), are not new things.

Feminists with disabilities are people too, bloggers and commenters of Feministing.

This is why I don't read your site, and will continue not to until you do something about this problem. I mean, really, Feministing crew--it's time to get out of your incredibly privileged bubble and acknowledge that disability and ableism ARE feminist issues, and that the current way in which you treat feminist disability issues (see what I did there?) needs improvement.

Objectivity: Its Uses and Abuses

A few months ago (I know it's, like, FOR-EV-ER in internet time, but bear with me, because as I have already explained, I can't update often because of various issues), Amandaw did a series of guest posts at Feministe, and--similar to what happened when she guest-posted last year--people kind of missed the point, and in some cases, did this rather spectacularly, by accusing her of not being "objective" enough in listening to criticism, among other things.

Here's the thing: Objectivity is absolutely, awesomely useful in many areas. The natural and physical sciences are just two areas where it is, understandably, required; quantitative studies in the Humanities are also useful to those of us who do scholarly work in that field.

But when you have such an e-boner for OBJECTIVITY in everything ever that you have to steamroll over peoples' experiences because you have an expert platform from which to do so, and your commentariat feels the need to pipe up about how they, too, have had similar experiences with PWDs and their goddamn bitching and why can't PWDs be more objective?!, then there is a bit of a problem. Specifically, when the entire point of someone's post is how a possible piece of legislation will impact those who need the proposed banned substance the most, being rabid about OBJECTIVITY is probably not the best strategy to take. Personal experience is subjective, and if you insist on screeching OBJECTIVITY OBJECTIVITY WHY CAN'T YOU BE REASONABLE, you are missing the entire point. The whole aim of Amandaw's post on the proposed Percoset and Vicodin ban was to demonstrate exactly why it is (and was) such a terrible idea--using her personal experience as someone with chronic pain to make her point.

If you're going to read the above-linked Skepchick post, I would suggest doing so with caution; one reason why I did not cover this when it happened was because I could not read the above thread without getting extremely upset. I'm going to get slammed for this, because it is not OBJECTIVE enough, but I still can't read through it without getting upset. Here is just a taste of the delightful comments following the post:



[Ridiculous comment by this person; macro by me, because I watched Aliens the other night for approximately the 443rd time.]

Before anyone goes all BUT THEY ARE EXAMINING IT **OBJECTIVELY**, STOP TAKING IT PERSONALLY-robotic on me, please remember: there is no way that I can not take it personally; many of the comments there are hateful toward people with chronic pain, or with disabling chronic pain. If you know anything about disability rights, or anything about social justice, or marginalized groups versus the majority, or even a very basic concept like privilege (and no, the "PWD privilege" argument in the above post is most definitely not what I am talking about here), you will see why this is not good. It does not matter if you hide your contempt for PWDs and chronically ill people behind the guise of OBJECTIVITY--you are still hiding your contempt (and just barely, I might add).

Tell me I'm wrong, skeptical people. Tell me that a (young) disabled feminist atheist like myself has a place in the movement, and not just in the young-white-cute-steamrollering-privileged-feminist subset of the skeptical movement. I wish I could see a place for myself in the movement, but right now, I really can't.

Obligatory, non-OBJECTIVE Disclaimer: This blog is a SAFE SPACE for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, including chronic pain. If you're going to leave a comment about how one of my responses makes my entire blog/opinion moot, or how people with disabilities need to accommodate non-disabled people in attitude, openness, or helping ABs process their feelings, or that I'm too angry/emotional, or that you, as an able-bodied person, can totally relate and here's a long comment detailing exactly how, please remember that such a comment might not be taken in good faith, and that I might be a jackass to you in return.

Autism Speaks Says: People With Autism Cannot Speak For Themselves

So this Autism Speaks video, made by once-awesome director Alfonso Cuaron and talentless hack "singer-songwriter" Billy Mann, is REALLY problematic and upsetting.



Yeah, implying that autism is always dangerous and horrible and will ruin your family and bankrupt you, and that your child who has autism is not really a person, but has been "taken over" by the condition...that's a great strategy.

It's fairly telling that the children and families shown in this video do not get to speak for themselves; nope, the creepy man-voice of "autism" speaks for them--as does this "charitable" organization.

I'd heard several times that Autism Speaks was/is fucking sketchy, but this is beyond the pale. Tigtog has more on this and why it is problematic.

Obligatory NIIAW Post

So, it's National Invisible Illness Awareness Week.

As with all of my disability-related posts, the following applies: This blog is a SAFE SPACE for people with disabilities. If you're going to leave a comment about how one of my responses makes my entire blog/opinion moot, or how people with disabilities need to accommodate non-disabled people in attitude, openness, or helping ABs process their feelings, or that I'm too angry/emotional or not "objective" enough, or that you, as an able-bodied person, can totally relate and here's a long comment detailing exactly how, or that you are concerned about the tone of my post, or that I should "just try" this miracle supplement that totally cured your brother's guy friend's drinking buddy's co-worker, please remember that such a comment might not be taken in good faith, and that I might be a jackass to you in return.

1. The illness I live with is: Fibromyalgia

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2007

3. But I have had symptoms since: 2006

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not being so hard on myself, and also not having too many commitments.

5. Most people assume: That being young means that you cannot have serious health problems, or that I am not "really" disabled. DISABILITY POLICE! WEE OO WEE OO

6. The hardest part about mornings is: Combating joint stiffness

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My iPod

9. The hardest part about nights is: Falling asleep without tossing and turning!

10. Each day I take 1 pills & vitamins. [Cymbalta]

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried two that did not work (hypnosis, vitamins) and one that has worked (acupuncture)

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I don't know

13. Regarding working and career: Thank FSM that I got financial aid for grad school, because having a job at this point is out of the question.

14. People would be surprised to know: That I'm not as mean in real life as I sound on the internet. No, seriously.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Peoples' stupidity is harder to deal with than the actual physical pain.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Stand up for myself.

17. The commercials about my illness: Bug the SHIT out of me. Since when can someone with fibro write in perfect cursive? Also, the way that the actors in the ads pronounce "fibromyalgia" makes it sound like a vegetable, not an actual medical condition.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Playing guitar :(

19. It was really hard to have to give up: Being able to stay up past 11 PM or so

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Cooking!

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Go see a movie, go shopping, and then go out to eat, because I would be thrilled to be able to do all three in one day without getting exhausted.

22. My illness has taught me: That a lot of people are pretty stupid and subscribe to "if I can't see it, it isn't there/doesn't exist" thinking, but also that illness affects people of all gender identities, races, ethnicities, ages, sexualities, and class backgrounds.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "You should try positive thinking!" Thanks, dipshit.

24. But I love it when people: Are not afraid to admit that there are things about disability that they don't know, without also expecting that I'll play the role of Magical Disabled Person Who Teaches Them a Lesson About Life.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "Tomorrow might be better."

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It's not the end of the world

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: That people say similar ridiculous things, and that some people keep suggesting "cures" even if I've rebuffed their suggestions before.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: It's the little things, mostly--asking if I need a break, need to sit down, if there's anything he/she can do, et cetera.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: Awareness just isn't enough; in some cases, it breeds complacency.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Thankful that I have so many friends who will put up with me!

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com

Not My Type of Feminism, Redux

I wrote this as part of a post I made back in May, but given current goings-on, I think it still applies, and will (unfortunately) probably still apply to certain segments of the blogosphere for quite a while:

I find it [...] difficult to understand why some are so dedicated to holding on to the last vestiges of their privilege, even as they give lip service to things like "inclusion" and "diversity." Neither term holds meaning when used by a certain type "good" mainstream liberal/feminist/et al to describe just how awesome and progressive they themselves are; oftentimes, these words are used to make those in the mainstream feel better about themselves, their privilege(s), and their biases--some of which they just cannot let go.

I want to be optimistic; I want to trust people when they say that they really do want to change, to be more inclusive, to give space to those who may be underrepresented, and that they are actively working on all of these things. There are certain things that I don't want to do, however, and most of the time, this includes being forever mega-understanding and/or fulfilling the role of Magical Invisibly Disabled Girl (I do enough of that when I'm not on the internet, to be frank) ALL OF THE DAMNED TIME. Initially, I responded to a WATRD blogger's comment on yesterday's post by being somewhat conciliatory and providing links to various disability blogs, hoping that she would actually take my suggestions--and this, after many voices have made similar suggestions to boot.

Because of the most recent WATRD post, however, I now feel even less confident that all of the voices who have (thank FSM) spoken up are, in fact, being taken seriously.

A huge part of making changes--whether personal or not--involves a willingness to actually do the work on one's own. It's not just about talking the talk, either. Saying that you will change means nothing if you do not actually make any changes.

In which I am counterproductive

Dear White Cis Able-Bodied Women With "Core" Body Image Issues That Are Apparently Resonant With ALL Women, and Who Call Yourselves "the Real Deal,"

No. You. Aren't.

And no, I'm not "just jealous."

Signed,

A white woman with a disability who is sick of this kind of thing