IIB v 1.0

Note: This is a revised version of a bingo card that I made some time ago. I will be moderating the crap out of this thread, meaning that I will expect comments to follow the comments policy to the letter.

While I don't feel like I should be required to justify the lowermost right square, there was some confusion and pretty ooky pushback when I posted version 1 on my own blog. I'll explain that square anyway, for CMA purposes: I am aware that pot works for many people with chronic pain, and personally have no issue if people other than myself use it. I'm an advocate of finding what works for you; whether it's a pill, plant, pilates-esque routine, or something else, your course of pain management should be your choice.

What I am referring to with this bingo card -- as a whole -- is the commonplace, rather irritating tendency of some able-bodied people to suggest -- without knowing about the medical history of (or, indeed, much about) the person they are "trying to help" -- remedies or treatments that may be totally inappropriate for that person, due to various (personal) reasons. In short, what works for you may not work for me, and vice versa; how I wish I could have articulated this to the folks who have "helpfully suggested" that I smoke pot or obtain other illegal "meds" to help with my pain!

Okay, explanatory note/rant over. Onto the bingo card! I hope you all have your chips ready.

Also, special thanks to Ouyang for suggesting the "Diet and Exercise!!1" free space.



annaham-iibv1

Text translation: card has white text on a black background. Title (in white) reads, “annaham presents: Invisible Illness Bingo 1.0,” followed by “Now With Straighter Lines” in red:

First Row, Square #1: All that’s keeping you from being healthy is a positive attitude!

First Row, Square #2: My ex/friend/co-worker had that, but he/she was just a hypochondriac.

First Row, Square #3: Maybe if you lost weight/found a man/read The Secret, your problems would be solved.

First Row, Square #4: Why can’t you just suck it up, get out of bed, and find a job like the rest of us?

Second Row, Square #1: Lucky! You get to stay in bed all day.

Second Row, Square #2 (middle square): Free Space/DIET AND EXERCISE!!!11

Second Row, Square #3: You don’t look sick/you’re just complaining too much

Third Row, Square #1: Obviously, you get something out of being sick. Otherwise, you’d get better!

Third Row, Square #2: If I haven’t heard of it, then it doesn’t exist.

Third Row, Square #3: But I went through hard times too, and I got through it. Let’s talk about what a great person I am.

Third Row, Square #4: You have it so much better than some people! Think of the starving children in Africa…

Fourth Row, Square #1: Let go and let God/Power of prayer/God is punishing you

Fourth Row, Square #2: You just want an excuse to be lazy and have people pity you.

Fourth Row, Square #3: Why haven’t you tried crystals/vitamins/other dubious “cure”? IT REALLY WORKS!!!

Fourth Row, Square #4: Smoke pot/take illegal drugs. It will totally take care of your pain, man!

The Drug Thing

Recently, I have been thinking about how I was pretty harsh to one particular commenter on IIB I. In retrospect, I realize that my comparison of smoking pot to gambling was unfair, and am working on a version of IIB I that both shifts the wording a bit and is a bit “neater” graphic-wise (yes, I have finally figured out how to make straight lines in Photoshop!).

However, there is still something that I have an issue with as far as the whole “pot has been tested by science and you should [do something] to keep an open mind/reflect this in your post!” argument goes: Many of the people from whom I have heard this argument from are not dealing with disability or chronic illness. In my rather limited experience, this tactic seems like the whole abled-bodied-people knowing what is “best” for PWDs in every circumstance thing yet again—-particularly when the ABs' “well-meaning” advice has to do with exactly which treatments the PWD should or should not be pursuing.

I am aware that pot does work for many people with chronic pain, and I am not opposed to people using it if it works for them. What I do take exception to is the insinuation—again, mostly from able-bodied people who are unaware of my family history of addiction (this is what has made me personally uncomfortable with the use of illegal substances for my own pain relief)—that I, as a person with a disability, do not know what is best for me when it comes to pain management. As I have said before, there is no substance that is miraculous for everyone who tries it—not booze, not pot, not the medicines that I myself take (Cymbalta and, on occasion, Vicodin). When people imply that I should just keep an open mind about this treatment, or think about trying that one because it has worked for someone they know, or that my personal experiences with people who are “just trying to help” by suggesting all kinds of things somehow renders my other points moot, I tend to get angry. My patience runs out, because I deal with these “well-meaning” suggestions quite often, and find that I must also manage some folks’ feelings when they are hurt that I don’t throw myself at their feet with gratitude for every single suggestion, whether that suggestion relates to the use of vitamins, recreational drugs or “positive” thinking.

As Amandaw so gracefully puts it:

I don’t know what the hell is going on in the life of the next chronic pain patient you might meet. That’s the point. You just don’t know. You don’t have the slightest concept of what their background is or how their body works or what they’ve tried before. So why do you assume it’s totally benign to throw this in their face? Why are you acting as though you know their body, their history, their experiences better than they do?

Do I have the time to detail everything above every time someone “helpfully” informs me that marijuana can be good for pain relief? Should I have to reveal all this stuff to total strangers, or even acquaintances, coworkers, casual friends? Even if all this stuff wasn’t there, and I just didn’t feel like using it: why can’t I have that decision respected?

Not everyone will relate to all of the spaces on the Bingo cards; though I have tried to construct them so that as many of the spaces as possible are (in general) applicable to the experiences of people with invisible disabilities and chronic illnesses, this does not mean that I will radically change them based on the opinions of apparently able-bodied people who are, of course, only trying to help.

Invisible Illness Bingo 2: Back For Revenge

Hey, it's Blogging Against Disablism Day!



My contribution is Invisible Illness Bingo 2 (IIB 1 is here); click for a larger version:



Something to remember if you're going to comment on this post: This blog is a SAFE SPACE for people with disabilities. If you're going to leave a comment about how one of my posts/points/bingo squares makes my entire blog/opinion/bingo card moot, or how my bingo card is not properly formatted, or how people with disabilities need to accommodate non-disabled people in attitude, openness, or helping ABs process their feelings (like we don't do enough of those things already), or that I'm too angry/emotional or not "objective" enough, or that you, as an able-bodied person, can totally relate and here's a long comment detailing exactly how, or that you are concerned about the tone of my post, please remember that such a comment might not be taken in good faith, and that I might be a jackass to you in return. [Edit: Yes, I know I'm an asshole.]

Other than that, feedback is welcome. Also, be sure to go check out the other BADD 2009 posts at Diary of a Goldfish.

ETA The Third: Via Rachel at Metalsunflower, here is the plaintext version:

Description: Card is made up of white squares on a black background. Underneath the squares, the title (in white) reads "annaham presents invisible illness & disability bingo" followed by "2" in red.

First row, Square #1: I had a really bad migraine once, so I know how you feel

First row, Square # 2: Your anger is alienating all potential able-bodied allies

First row, Square #3: I had that and I got over it. I did it, and so can you!

First row, Square #4: You should use [X dubious "cure"], because it's safer than the drugs that Big Pharma has sold to you

Second row, Square #1: VISUALIZE your pain away! It totally works!

Second row, Square #2: Taking pills for your pain means that you are just a Big Pharma zombie

Second row, Square #3: That sounds like something you just made up/ that sounds fake

Second row, Square #4: My personal experience invalidates yours! I know people with disabilities, so I know what I am talking about.

Third row, Square #1: You can still walk, so you aren't really disabled.

Third row, Square #2: I'm able-bodied. Let's talk about me and how I deal with pain/ illness

Third row, Square #3: I don't agree with one thing you said in your post, so your entire experience/ point is moot.

Third row, Square #4: I don't have a disability, but let me tell you what would make your point(s) more digestible to "normal" folks

Fourth row, Square #1: A person with a disability was mean to me once, so all PWDs are mean and secretly jealous of able-bodied people!

Fourth row, Square #2: You already have the best parking spaces! What "special rights" will you demand next?!

Fourth row, Square #3: How do we know that you're not just a drug seeker/ drug abuser?

Fourth row, Square #4: Wow! You are so inspirational. I don't know how I would cope if I were in your situation.

Daughter of ETA: Rachel over at Metalsunflower has awesomely transcribed a text version of IIB 2, viewable at the bottom of this page. She has also text-scribed many other fantastic bingo cards from around the 'net, and kindly provided the plaintext version above. Thanks, Rachel!

ETA, 11/7/09: I completely forgot to include a text translation, which has kindly been pointed out by a commenter. I'm sorry; this was an inexcusable oversight and rather ironic, given that this was created for BADD. I am working on a text translation and will get it on the page as soon as possible.

Invisible Illness Bingo!

ETA: New version is here.

Inspired by the now-classic Fat Hate Bingo and Anti-Feminist Bingo cards, I give you the Invisible Illness Bingo Card! All of these are things that have been said to me or people I know IRL. I know the design isn't too high-tech, but I'll save the super-fancy Photoshopped version for the next incarnation. Click to see a bigger version.


Also, I am now taking suggestions for Version 2, because there's more truly stunning vitriol and misguided "good intentions" out there, waiting to be assigned places upon an online bingo card. Leave suggestions and feedback in the comments, please.